I want to paint two scenarios, and in turn ask you one question for both of them. Names changed and some parts of the story fictionalized.

What should they do?

Lets start with the story of Tunde and Ajoke, both medical interns, who finished from the same prestigious medical school. From group meetings and hangouts, they fell in love. Both smart and ambitious, they had dreams; staying in Nigeria was never an option. By the time they resumed housejob they had dated for two years.

I was opportuned to meet with Ajoke as an intern. She is a fine woman and a true beauty. Ajoke is an ambitious lady, part of the things that got my attention. We would often get lost in intense conversations about the future OF medicine and her future IN medicine. I love every bit of these discussions. She is hell bent on going to the US; she has always dreamed of being a world renowned interventional cardiologist, and had even started saving up for the USMLE.

Tunde, however, just got the result of his PLAB. He passed his PLAB 1.

It is clear that at some point, Tunde will migrate to the UK, and Ajoke will migrate to the US.

Is it a wise decision to continue with the relationship?

Here, reader, I ask you this. What should they do?


She spent quite some time in school; she earned her MBBS degree at 30. Back then in school, she usually championed arguments that dissuaded her female colleagues from marrying their male counterparts. “I can’t get married to a doctor” she’d often proclaim to whoever was fortunate to be around her.

Anytime she mused on the cons, she’d acknowledge that she might feel a bit smarter than the man and maybe a tad richer. She might be on call for most nights of the week, but surely the man would cook and take care of the children; afterall, times have changed, and many female consultants are married to non-doctors.

Unsurprisingly, she got hooked to a lawyer. A rich handsome guy and a total catch. He has made a name for himself in Nigeria and is doing well. He has a couple offers to do a short masters programme abroad with a few countries in mind. They have discussed the future, but the man, in a bid to keep the love bright red, promised that everything would be alright.

Today, she passed her PLAB 2, and will migrate in a couple of months. But the lawyer is adamant that he will remain in Nigeria as he believes his future is here; afterall, he has a thriving business.

Is it a wise decision to continue with the relationship?

I ask you this again? What should they do?



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